The lights are on you, you have earned it, yet the urge to run away and hide swirls up inside you like a tornado. It should feel good; most people would do anything to be where you are. A seat at the table, a spot under the light, yet, it feels undeserved. You think you don’t do much, all you do is be yourself and even when you do put in extra effort, you still feel undeserving of the reward.
Undeniably, not everyone likes being the centerpiece. You’d rather complement a poorly dressed friend so the attention wouldn’t be on you. You’d rather give up your position, just so another can be praised. Your good works should cause a change, but its orchestrator never recognized. In an era when everyone is struggling for credit – photo credit, tweet credit, trademarked sentences, watermarked photos – why aren’t you?
Is humility your disease? Is your greatness a curse? Is modesty your undoing? The shadow is a good hiding place. How can your flaws be seen in the dark? You have nothing to improve when no one is holding you accountable. It’s your comfort zone. A place between greatness and mediocrity.
If it’s only about you, I’d also join the brain cells dancing in your head, telling you to be good but not so good, great but not so great to say the same thing. And if by some mysterious power, the light shines on you, you dare not bask in it. Run, hide, stay at the back where great but fearful minds stay. Unfortunately, it isn’t only about you. Your limiting beliefs aren’t strong enough to stop you from sharing your brilliance with the world.
It’s a struggle because no matter how comforting darkness is, the light will always remain alluring. You belong there, in the light. Sharing your gifts with the world, fearlessly. Courage is the ability to start with no knowledge of the end. And if by the stroke of luck your end is good, accept the praise, the pat on the back and the endless stream of compliments. Bask in it.